Wednesday, 13 April 2016

The Travel Space-Time Continuum - Part 1

At my age (30), visiting cities not only takes me back in time and space, it forces me to ask questions about the past, the present, and the future. I have learned that I need to take a break even when I travel, to collect my thoughts, share them, and dissociate myself from the past so I can continue on my journey. 

Not an easy task, especially when the present is waiting for you on the other side of the gates asking it's own questions!

One thing is for sure, each city has made its own special place in my travel memories; and although my videos present you with photos of forts, temples, and palaces, I have learned much more about India through the cities I have visited.

Central India

Fact#1 - The community built between friends, family members, and professionals and their clients has been the binding force for each person's private life. Without such a community, it would be that much harder to survive what we as humans face. 

Fact#2 - Gujarat's cities, roads, and railway stations are some of the cleanest I have seen in India. I was only startled by the high incidence of air pollution plaguing Ahmedabad....

Fact#3 - Gujarat's historical stepwells - their architecture and their embellishments - are breathtaking. Each carving holds special significance and may even be based on astronomical and scientific principles. In fact, as an example, I would recommend reading about Modhera's sun temple!


Delhi

Fact#1 - Not all parts of Delhi are unsafe. In fact, walking around Hauz Khaas Village in South Delhi, I felt right at home in my Western clothes and couldn't help but notice women practising yoga by the lake.

Fact#2 - Significant strides are being made in India for cleanliness and to reduce pollution. There are trees lining many roads. All vehicles in Delhi must run only in compressed natural gas, a cleaner option. But yes, to reduce the pollution already created due to generations of globalization, it will take time.

Fact#3 - The preservation of historical structures in Delhi is laudable. And then, new structures like the Bahai Lotus Temple and Akshardham Temple are present-day architectural marvels. But, I was especially impressed by the efforts taken to reconstruct Humayun's Tomb. Please do read about it.


Please stay tuned for my next post about cities I visited in UP and Rajasthan. And do let me know what you would like to hear more about, by leaving a comment below!

Do not forget to like my Facebook page "One Woman Empowered" and share my posts! And thank you as always for continuing to read and encouraging me on my travels. It does keep me going!!

P.S. Music courtesy incompetech.com and bensound.com


Thursday, 31 March 2016

The perfect haircut

I look at my scissors and my hair in the mirror. "I'm ready," I say to myself. I begin cutting off one strand at a time without any inhibition or fear. Although I am unable to see whether I am making progress, I touch the back of my neck and I think my hair is well trimmed. Then I hear him. "What are you doing?! Are you crazy?!! Don't do that!". 10 minutes later, with his help, my hair looks neat and tidy enough to me... The moment I decided an imperfect haircut would do - very easy. The moment I decided an imperfect trip would do - much harder!





Hostels, Hotels, and Interesting Conversations

I have now lived in houses, hostels, swanky business hotels, resorts, and on a ship in Antarctica. I have camped on snow, and will live in a tent. I have slept in a train, bus, car, tuk-tuk, boat, plane, capsule hotel, and ship. If I could sleep on a bicycle, I would probably do that too. Lol.

But, I have always maintained that I feel most comfortable in hostels. After all, I get to pay nominal prices for a bed and breakfast package, and meet the most interesting of strangers!

Take the time when I learned about the 70 year old grandpa who bikes across Canada, or when I set off with my new friends on bicycles to nearby wineries in Niagara Lake!

Not all hostels are created equal though.

Some leave you just as lonely as hotels, and some do not hold the same cleanliness or safety standards as other hostels. In fact, after much convincing and informed advice, I have not spent a single day in a hostel ever since I left Argentina. Yet, I have had some of the most memorable conversations since I began my trip in December (2015).

My first memorable conversation took place in the tourist hub of Vietnam.

It was an odd sight for me as I walked down a broad, paved road that was congested with vehicles and foot traffic, with my hiking backpack on my back, after an hour’s ride on a bus from the airport. Both sides of the road were flanked by restaurants serving alcohol to foreign clientele seated outside; there were massage parlours every few feet, and street hawkers blaring automated speakers announcing the delicacies being sold.

I still remember particularly observing one lady who would lie like Cleopatra atop a portable wooden table, just like the small ceramic models sold in souvenir shops across the world. She had Vietnamese facial features, a round body, and an aura of superiority that I recorded in my mind.

A few shops down and on the right, I found a small, long restaurant with two steps leading to a cement floor, 6 tables, four chairs around each table, and two tables lining the passageway every few feet. My new-found friend and I took a seat at a table outside the restaurant.

At the table next to us was a gentleman, obviously a foreigner. He continued to sip from his bottle of beer, while watching the road only a few steps away from his table. Looking down the road, all foreigners seemed to have the same past-time, while the local residents dressed to the ninths were entering the club opposite us.

In no time, the waiter brought a couple to be seated at his table.

The gentleman courteously left his table, asked if he could grab the seat on the outer edge of our table, and took a seat. In order to preserve my stoic yet polite façade, I nudged my friend – “Offer him some fries”. The gentleman refused. “Talk to him”.

One nudge at a time, one question at a time, and soon ensues an interesting conversation. He was from Canada, completing research on the air quality of Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. The conversation was heavy yet humorous.  

We chatted about pollution in India and Vietnam, capitalism and economies driven by tourism, self-interest, and politics. As we parted ways, we received tips from him about where to visit so we are away from the touristic hub of Ho Chi Minh.

Hours later, just as fast as the conversation began, it ended. I have learned that these kinds of interactions are just as precious to me, as friendships that develop while travelling. #travelsuccess

The other conversation that still stands out in my mind was also with tourists in Pushkar, India.

After an hour’s walk from the resort located on the outskirts of the city, I found myself walking along the steps of the Bathing Ghat. As I felt the hot steps under my bare feet, I watched believers bathing themselves in the Ghat, and a few tourists self-reflecting as they watched the still water a few feet from them.

The steps were surrounding the Ghat on all four sides, and right opposite the gate I had entered from, my friend noticed three girls sitting at the topmost step of one set of stairs. Two were wearing traditional dresses from the state of Rajasthan, and a younger girl was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.

This time my friend nudged me. “Take their photo. Three women seated together. This is exactly what you are looking for”. My conscience forced me to ask them whether they would feel comfortable if I took their photo. One of the three ladies responded. “Mine?!”. I replied back in Hindi, the Indian language I felt most comfortable with. “All three of you, please”. To which, the younger girl said, “No”.

I understand (okay a bit upset at the lost opportunity, but I understand), and I walk onwards to a small stone canopy. Sharing that canopy with two other tourists, both foreigners, I resisted talking to them. After all, I wanted an authentic Indian experience.

But no sooner did we start, thanks to my friend, we shared one of the most intellectual conversations I have ever had on my trip so far.

The conversation was enhanced only due to the deeper knowledge of India that my friend possessed. As we were sitting there in the dimmest of lights, all others began to leave the Ghat. Yet, we continued talking, about pollution and cleanliness in India, commercialization for the sake of tourism, respecting local customs and religious beliefs, and the differences we experience travelling alone versus with a companion. The one point that was raised time and again was the need to have open discussions between and within countries for continuous improvement.

The fantasy of living life small, in hostels, speaking to locals, has been dashed as I sit there, whether in Vietnam or India, having an intellectual conversation with my friend from India and with visiting foreigners, all of us broadening our own narrow vision of the world….

Cheap, Luxurious, or Available (Vehicles)

The avant garde solo travelette in me, the rebel, couldn’t care less about cars and flights. In fact, my ultimate fantasy would be to use the cheapest form of transport to get anywhere in the world.

Put me in a bus, a truck, or a small boat and despite the hours of nausea and exhaustion I will recount it as one of my fondest memories. I guess I have a penchant for travel torture.

On this trip though, I have experienced the city in ways that I would never experience had I been travelling alone. Totally against my need to travel cheap, but extremely comfortable for sure.


How to book train tickets in India, and train etiquette

My train travels were of course still aligned with my need to travel cheap. Phew! Did you know? There is a website that can be used to book train tickets in India!

I still remember sitting down with my aunt to book my train to Baroda, India. The only constraint was that I did not have an Indian credit card. Shucks!

Once the tickets were booked with my aunt’s credit card, the advice I received was to refrain from talking, looking, and smiling at anyone. Oh, and no eating anything served on the trains. Totally unlike me! But I heeded the advice and not once did I even glance at another soul.

Ok, I lie. I glanced.

I placed my bags on the horizontal steel poles placed high above my seat for luggage, and sat down at my window seat. Not too long later, a man sat beside me on his reserved seat and asked me to close the blinds to block the sunlight. The sunlight! Grrrr!

My movie-like desire to feel the wind and view villages passing by had been dashed! I tried to console myself; "Who cares if it is not perfect"! No use.

A few hours later, I was surprised by an unfamiliar voice calling my name. My friend's friend had come to visit me in the train for a handful of minutes, to give me a quick bite to eat while the train had stopped at Surat. Context – I had bought a sandwich at the railway station in Mumbai when I set out, but as it was not grilled, my friends and family told me it may not be safe to eat.

A few bites of the Dhokla I was given by my newest friend, and my mood was uplifted in an instant! Isn't it amazing – how a network can be built across many miles just to uplift one spirit.

In the many months to come, I travelled to Vietnam, Cambodia, and Myanmar. Within each city, I tried different modes of transportation, based on what was easily available, comfortable, and/or reasonably priced.

I took autorickshaws in India, Cambodia, and Myanmar; intercity tourist cars in India and Vietnam; taxis in India, Vietnam, and Myanmar; local buses in India and Vietnam; overnight sleeper buses in India and Myanmar; and local and overnight sleeper trains in India.

Out of all these modes of transportation, my best experiences in India were technology-based. I have been able to tell exactly how late my sleeper bus and train will be at each of its stops along the way, from an understated local website.

I have learned how to find reliable intercity tourist cars.

I have even downloaded mobile apps to call for local taxis in India (Ola Cabs for cars and Jugnoo for autorickshaws), and other apps (m-Indicator) to find out when and where to catch local buses and trains, right down to the platform number and name of the train and bus stations.

The perfect health

Forget about accommodation and mode of transportation. In order to successfully complete any travel plan I have devised (*LOUD EVIL LAUGHTER*), my health has been the most important.

It has been my driving force that has determined where I will stay and what mode of transportation I will use to travel. And, this has been a typical year for me where my health is concerned! I do not know about others, but I don’t think I have ever been perfectly healthy throughout a year. Lol.

Bruises in Antarctica, colds and coughs in Jodhpur and Mumbai (India), mosquito bites to boot, rashes in the weirdest places, and pain affecting various body parts.

From my experiences, I have learned that:
  • Bruises fade away.
  • So do small burns (Although I know the key catalyst for my burns to fade away was a popular Mumbai cream called zakhmerooz)! 
  • I love sleep and it really helped with my heat-induced headaches and colds and coughs. 
  • I avoid antibiotics with all my heart, but once in a while it did speed up my recovery.
  • Moisturizers really help with rashes.
What else?:
  • Lip balm helps reduce the sting of dryness in the air.
  • Hiking in the wilderness helped with my knee pain.
  • Hand sanitizer is effective for mosquito bites. 
  • My insect bite gel was an excellent investment for particularly stingy mosquito bites.
  • Painkillers were essential when I could not bear my menstrual pain.
And, finally, hurrah for WhatsApp when I missed my friends and family.
But, being surrounded by healthy people who are active also makes a big difference!

As I have travelled, I have seen the best of the best in terms of health advocacy around the world.

Winter marathons for youth and adults across India; seniors waking up early to catch the sunrise while walking in their local parks; youth playing badminton on the streets at night and practicing yoga by lakes in the park; and outside gyms in Vietnam and Delhi (India), so local residents can exercise any part of their body on open-air machines at all times of the day.

In fact, I think my body has just been exhausted taking local buses, trains, rickshaws, and cars. Combine that with the pollution and the incredible heat that is pervasive in Asian summers. Unfathomable!

I guess there are only two possibilities – one is that there is no recourse for those who must travel for work and work in the heat, and the other is that those who do have recourse can find comfort under fans and ACs in restaurants or shops.

The perfect experience

My best experiences in India were ones that involved laughing and singing with my cousins on a bed while watching old, classic movies; sitting on the floor eating sandwiches and full-on Indian meals; and watching my niece jump around the house like a little kangaroo.

Kangaroo? Imagine - a 2-year old running around the entire house, singing at whim, pouring you imaginary tea, spreading powder on her face and yes, refusing to sleep!

Apart from the moments I spent with my family, I have learned about my need to believe in others despite their negative attitudes, the vast array of intellectual thoughts and paradigms impacting Indian education, and the efforts of the few in spite of their perception that their impact will just be a drop in the complex history and infrastructure of India.

There were times where I was tired and sleepy and could not keep my eyes open for longer than a few minutes.

Yet, I fought the urge to sleep and captured my environment on camera so I could really feel its power, if not in the present then in the future. There were also times where I admired the architectural prowess of heritage structures while battling with the knowledge of the pain and death involved in their making. In some cases, death has followed some structures until recently because star-crossed lovers have decided to leap to their deaths from them.

Genuineness of intent

The most appreciated and respected figures are no comparison to regular women I have met. I still remember sitting in Nimisha’s car when I met her in Surat.

She was passing under an expressway when she asked me, “Did you see them fighting”. I hadn’t. To which she responded that she had once intercepted a fight by walking over and hugging one of the people involved in the fight. The person she hugged automatically calmed down. “Do you want to do that now?,” I asked. “Should we?”. “Sure!”.

A U-turn, a quick parking, and off she went to mediate. Not too long later, I saw smiles on some of their faces. Her presence had obviously made a difference, and she had spent more than a few minutes with them, listening to both sides and nodding her head to imply she had heard them.

When she returned to the car, I asked her whether she would return the next day and whether she thought she had made a difference. A practical person, she responded that she may not have. But I truly believe she had in that moment….

There are few like Nimisha who step out of their regular routine to help a passerby.

Some I have met who explain and assist me graciously. Others who care only for their self-interest, avoiding any services that may be in their professional package but cause them inconvenience. Still others who claim ignorance when they are alerted to their lack of service.

All this to say, I must learn that no trip is perfect, no person is perfect. But, I continue to be an ill-fated optimist that everyone has a soft, pleasant, kind, caring corner somewhere deep down in their heart of hearts.

Nature versus Nurture

Vietnam

In Vietnam, I spent USD $265 on a hike. Too much right?

After months of city dwelling, I needed it. After all, that is where I have always found pure happiness – amongst the trees!

A long ride to the national park, much asking for directions and searching for vegetarian food, forms filled in the dim light of a lamp by a lake, a short boat ride, a 2 minute golf cart ride to get the keys to the hotel room, and the end of the night in the room.

However, the trip to the hotel did not disappoint as much as the attitude of the hotel staff, who found it inconvenient to cook vegetarian meals, had little to no knowledge about the species in the park and why their large mammals were extinct, and were unable to advise us when crocodiles could be seen at the nearby lake.

With my training in Antarctica, I patiently waited for an hour on the second floor of a lean, tall, three story wooden structure. Staring through the camera my friend loaned me, I noticed something harsh and brownish on the lake surface.

I zoomed my friend’s camera to focus some more, and omg! There, far in the distance, after being told they were not around, I and only I saw the teensy weensy eyes of a croc! I took one hazy photo and then it disappeared, not giving me a second chance to hold the camera more stable.

But, the walk to the lake and back to the hotel was the best part of the experience. As I walked amongst the trees, I mulled over my thoughts while listening to cricket-like chirping around me, an orange jacket around my waist, and drinking my bottle of water in the humid heat. I realized how much I had missed hiking. Solo or not. This was #MyNature.































On this trip I have realized my best experiences may not necessarily be solo, but they must involve hiking, pushing myself, and feeling the incredible physiological and mental satisfaction of achieving something while being out and about, amongst the trees!

Case in point – Myanmar.

My favourite experience there was the ride along a narrow stretch of water that turns into a wide lake and then begins to be spotted with floating farms with cows and chickens, houses and shops on stilts with clothes hanging outside to dry, and tufts of green dotting the lake.

Despite the stopovers at the tourist markets and only one small child asking for payment (uncharacteristically) to park our boat, I enjoyed watching the clouds above me with squinted eyes due to the harsh sunlight beating down on me.

As I lay there face up in the boat, staring at the sky, I could feel the boat leaning forward, landing in the water with a whoosh everytime there was a dip in the river. Inle Lake is known for its fishermen who row the boat with one foot while using their hands to hold their coned nets and catch fish.
Many of us choose to idealize this picture and the simple way of life, with local residents bathing in the river, and their children fishing with makeshift rods.

I choose to remember this serenity of Inle Lake, and wonder whether I truly understood the economic and emotional state of its residents #MyNature.



India

In India, I enjoyed my brief, 90 minute walk from my resort, on the outskirts of Pushkar, to the Bathing Ghat in the city town.

Hiking in my Merrells in the desert sands, I felt I could tackle anything in front of me. Heat? Pshh! Sand? Pshh! #MyNature. I heard kid’s voices in the distance. Oh sweet village children; innocent, smiling, children. But my naivety was shattered.

First asking for chocolates, then for my bracelet, and finally for money, I wondered where their innocence had disappeared.

And, whether genuineness could be preserved while also building infrastructure, spreading technology, and encouraging tourism.

Cambodia

And finally, the environment was totally different in Cambodia, which took me back in generations to a time when a whole city was dotted with differently built Hindu and Buddhist temples.

Angkor Wat.

After a long drive in a tuktuk, hiking in the heat from 5am in the morning till 3pm in the afternoon, past trees enveloping the temples, in the dirt, up each temple’s steep steps, along the temple’s corridors, and finally sitting outside the temple by a murky, green lake watching the sunset.

I could not get enough of it, gulping down mouthfuls of water and trekking in my Merrell shoes was the best feeling!

Add caption
In the past two months, I have learned that if one enjoys travelling, it doesn’t matter if it is solo or with someone (only the right companion is required).

#MyNature is one in which I can be outside and push myself physically and mentally.






























I have hiked in national parks, deserts, villages, and cities. I have experienced minor and rare incidents of sexual harassment, a fascination for foreigners, and commercialization and exploitation of tourists (local and foreign).

I have appreciated architectural prowess while feeling overwhelmed by my historical knowledge of wondrous monuments.

I have gone entirely vegetarian and experienced difficulty finding vegetarian food.

I have learned that there are advancements in the East that I have not come across in the West, and I have learned women are pursuing any and all professions around the world.

In all these experiences, one thing is for sure, I feel most comfortable in #MyNature, one in which there are trees and I can hike. In fact, did you know that Stanford researchers have found a positive relation between hiking and mental health!


Before I end this post, I have been asked to share my tips on 5 essential things I think every person should travel with. What I have learned I should never travel without:
  1. Working phone – I used it to take photos, access maps, order taxis, and Google top destinations I wanted to visit. I also kept in touch via WhatsApp with family and friends.
  2. Hand sanitizer and toilet paper – So very important when I needed to sanitize any injury, when I found myself dotted with mosquito bites, and when I needed to use the bathroom!
  3. Menstrual underwear (yes this is directed to women) – I wanted to make sure I did not leave behind a large environmental footprint and that I was travelling light.
  4. Medication, including painkillers and cold medicine
  5. Local currency cash, and a valid credit card – No matter what Google tells you, I have learned not everyone accepts US dollars!
Of all these, except for #3, you can find the others at local stores and at the airport.

My secondary list would include:
  1. Universal adapter with a high quality USB cable - I have come across so many types of plug outlets around the world!
  2. High-end portable charger – Smartphones run out of battery quickly. So annoying.
  3. Synthetic fibre clothes that can wash and dry fast. Super helpful!
  4. Excellent hiking backpack that won’t break your back
  5. Healthy snacks for midnight hunger pangs!

I am in the process of preparing a video to share all my experiences with you in Asia. Do stay tuned and thank you for continuing to check if and when I make a post!

P.S. There is also a new website (onewomanempowered.com) that will lead you to all my different social media accounts - Instagram for photos, my facebook page "One Woman Empowered", and Twitter. Please do not forget to leave a comment, and like my facebook page so you can continue to be notified of new posts, which will I hope be more frequent going forward!!

Wish you a perfect day!

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

When love overpowers pain

As a good friend of mine recently said, "There are stories everywhere; you just have to look at the underlying emotions". In the 1.5 months I have been in India, I have seen a lot of love and a lot of pain. Sometimes, pain and fear have overpowered the possibility of any expression of love. But, there is still hope that love will not fail....

In this post, I would like to share stories of a few amazing women who I have had the honour of meeting. These women have overcome struggles shared by almost all other women in the world, and have continued to blossom and inspire. In the spirit of love, I hope these stories will inspire you too.



Story #1 – Shamim

Two weeks ago, I sat in my aunt’s kitchen waiting for Shamim to take me to her house. An epitome of inspiration and yet one of the most humble women I have met, her energy was infectious. I watched her speak animatedly about the importance of a regular health check-up. She had returned from booking an appointment for her and her friend, even though her friend was hesitant. Fast forward 30 minutes and we were weaving through gullies to reach her home.

A two-story house with tiled floors, a tiny kitchen, cupboards lining the walls; the bedrooms were upstairs. It also had a bathroom with working sewage facilities; a rare occurrence where this house was located. All due to Shamim. Shamim is a cook at my aunt’s house and she lives in what is known as the slum area; a word I do not like using since it typecasts the people living there as someone desperate and needy. Instead I would like to say that many living here are extremely entrepreneurial. 

This is Shamim’s story.


Now separated from her husband, whom she had helped to get a job many years ago in Mumbai, Shamim is the champion of change in her household and with her community. Her husband has not spoken to her for 2 years. Yet, Shamim, a powerhouse of a woman, has managed the budget of the household, created a network of clients through referrals to homes and events, and is the manager of an informal venture capital fund that collects 5,000 Rs per month from each of 10 members and then donates a random member each month 50,000 Rs. This has helped them buy homes, fund the education of their children, and provide for many other necessities.

Shamim has studied until Grade 7 and was married at the age of 20. As she speaks about the power of education, she says that women need to know that they can be independent financially. She speaks about the desires and aspirations of young girls today and how they need to study, so they can work even after they are married; this is a significant issue in some families in India regardless of socioeconomic status.

She has advocated for the education of her two children, and her nephews and nieces. In their late teens and early 20s, they are pursuing different fields of service that will lead them to stable jobs. They speak very fondly of Shamim, her struggles, and her inspiration.

How can anyone not be inspired by a mother, a sister, and a confidante such as Shamim….

Story #2 – Dr. Shobha Kale

I met Dr. Kale years ago when I had a case of Delhi belly right in Mumbai. I still remember her placing her hand on my stomach and diagnosing what I had right away. She left an indelible impression on my mind, as I was back to my kicking self within a few days.

My paths crossed with her this time in Mumbai, as I was seeking advice for the baby in Jodhpur whom I mentioned in my previous post. As she spoke about the resources I could contact, I realized that I could not miss the opportunity to interview her. As a woman in her 70s, still running her practice, I knew I would hear an incredible story about her childhood, and that is exactly what happened!


Born to a family of 4 girls and 2 boys, Dr. Kale grew up in a household where girls were given the opportunity to study, but boys were still the “kings of the household”. Water for the boys? Let the girls get it! Land inheritance? Boys first. But, Dr. Kale along with her sisters woke up every morning, completed their domestic chores, and then went to school. The family did not have a doctor, a huge prestige for any family in any community in India; so Dr. Kale was asked to pursue the profession. “Listening to our parents is how we were brought up”, she said to me.

Now in her 70s, she still believes that parents must guide their children, but she also speaks about families that do not support their daughters and daughters-in-law. Eat after the husband; do not talk to any men, except for the husband; do not work after marriage; why invest in a girl when she will get married eventually anyway. I even learned of stories where, if a husband is not happy with his wife, he leaves her even if she has children, and marries another woman.

As I listened to her story and the stories of many other families, I began to feel impassioned about the rights of women. These are not stories that are told, yet these are stories that exist in every family, regardless of class and level of education. And in some cases, through domestic abuse. It is a sad state of affairs when any life is not given the importance it deserves. 

I ask her what can be done; that I cannot sit passively while women around the world suffer in silence. She replies “This is how it is; it is difficult to change the system”. But, as we continue talking, her words imply that change is possible.

She is a prime example of possibility, just like many other families in India, including my own. In fact, she has also provided logistical and practical advice to many young women and men about how they could overcome their obstacles. What is special about her is that her nuanced advice is offered in the context of family dynamics, in a way that seeks to bring harmony in the household but also empower each family member wherever possible. Because of mothers like her who suffered in silence, daughters are now being provided every opportunity despite the naysayer in the family, the community, and the world.

I dedicate this story to our Doctors, our true intellectuals, and the elders of India; those who seek to amplify the good and always see the potential in every life!

Story #3 – Alefiyah Siamwala

Alefiyah is my cousin, the future of India, a jewel in the rough you could say. Her energy, her grace, and her dynamism is what I see in almost all young women in India today. How do I even begin to tell her story?! A fashion entrepreneur, a freelance yoga teacher, a photographer-in-training; these are just her current pursuits! And she has many more experiences to boot while growing up in Mumbai.

When Alefiyah was in school, she was, in her words, "a complete introvert, scared of what people would think about her if (she) dared to open (her) mouth. She did not have any friends and had very low/no self-confidence. She did not participate in competitions and was in a state of depression by the time she reached the 10th grade". These are powerful words from someone who has shown her talent and her mental strength in many ways over the past few years....

The day she left school she promised herself she would completely transform herself. When she entered college, she pushed herself to be social. Her degree also gave her a platform to speak in front of audiences. She remembers a particular speech she gave on "The Girl Child”, to which she received a lot of recognition. With each presentation and each new event she organized, her confidence grew. 

Despite her new found confidence, she had to regain herself after graduation. Today’s young women are faced with an enormous responsibility to either get a steady 9 to 5 job, or get married. But there are so many options that they forego because of these boundaries. Due to many different reasons, Alefiyah was also caught in a vicious cycle and could not find a job that she could continue. She also could not find guidance on where to turn next in her career, and relied on friends and her mother for emotional support. She stopped attending events because she would be asked what she was doing.

Today she is happy to say she is a ‘multipotentialite’. We do not need “one true calling”; it is perfectly alright if we are good at many things. In her current pursuits, Alefiyah is able to be creative, and work on her passion for fashion, photography, yoga and writing. Yoga, she says, has brought her a peace of mind which was hard to find earlier, and teaching her clients has given her a contentment no job could ever give her. She has also started her own website and blog called “Trends and Trails” and is a co-founder of an accessory brand called “Threads and Stones”.


Her advice for the younger generation, "People who matter will support you no matter what, and family will come around if you show you love what you do. Go ahead and chase your dreams, live for your passion and make sure the person you look at everyday in the mirror is happy internally as well as externally!"


These are just 3 stories of inspirational women; women who are role models in our community and our lives. Women who have persevered against all odds, who have come from different socioeconomic backgrounds, religions, and family dynamics. Women who hold their own in the world!

In honour of my goal to visit all 7 continents in a year, I will be telling 4 more stories to complete my “seven-fecta” about our Indian women (yes, I know that is not a word!). I hope you continue to like my posts, and share them. I also have not received a comment in a while – hello world; are you reading?!!

From the other end of the world, I say hello to all my loved ones back home! I miss your warm hugs and appreciate your continued advice as I travel and visit and learn!

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Love is a many splendored thing

I have been in India for three weeks now. Wait! Three weeks?? Has it been that long?! Yup, but it sure doesn't feel like it!

In these three weeks, I have been asked about the purpose of my travel, the experiences I have gained, and where I will be travelling to next. I am sure everyone has the same questions so here goes!!

My main aim during my year away is to hit all 7 continents by the end of 2016. Woah, right?! I call this my SEVEN by 31 plan; after all, I turn 31 in June.

The way I will be travelling will push my boundaries; I will only seek accommodation once I land in each city, and I will only use my limited budget. Money will not be an excuse to postpone my dreams!

As I continue my journey, I hope to inspire others to pursue travel and to pursue their own dreams, especially women. I also hope to instill a sense of confidence in the families of the dreamers around the world, that we can be safe with a little bit of caution to boot. It is not impossible!

So far, I have visited three continents and five locations in 50 days. This count does not include my launching pad; Toronto, Canada. I have met some amazing people along the way, who have fed me, housed me, and yes clothed me too!

50 days into my trip, I am in India. 

I have considered carefully how to blog about a country that I call home time and again, where my family and friends live, love, and care for others.

In this post, I would like to show you the India that I see; an India that is filled with an incredible business intellect, has an advanced non-profit network, and is gracious in its beauty.

A respectful India

In the cities that I have visited so far, I have experienced a respect that I have not experienced anywhere else in the world. Case in point - I was accompanied to a fancy restaurant by two men (friends) in Jodhpur. As the doorman held the door open for me, I was the only one greeted by him, "Welcome Madam".

We finished dinner, and the host only gave me the book to review the restaurant's service and food. Wow! Talk about respect!

Mumbai is a different beast. I am not given special recognition as a woman.

But, I feel just as safe walking alone on its streets after the sun has set. Even in the train compartments used mainly by men, I know I will be defended if anyone reproaches me physically. They may ask later why I did not travel in the " ladies-only" compartment, but, for now, there isn't even an inkling that I will be harmed in any way.

Having lived in Canada for most of my life, and watching media reports about assaults against women, I am still relearning that India is not as unsafe as we assume.

But, yes, it is best to be cautious in every part of the world as a woman travelling alone. There are always people and places to avoid.

Tips for solo travelettes anywhere in the world -
  • I always tend to walk confidently while holding a serious look on my face. Although, even if I shoot a genuine smile at those who look trustworthy, I know they will surely smile back.
  • Be aware of your surroundings! I have walked with my phone in my hands everywhere I have visited, but it is best to keep it away; you never know right?!
  • Know where you are going and how to get there. But, do not be scared; you can rely on people along the way too!

An intellectual India

I was recently invited by my uncle to speak at an awards ceremony for manufacturers in India, the COSMA Awards. Surrounded by the best of the best in the industry, I wondered if I was out of my element that night. What did I have to offer; would they even be interested in my travels?

Despite being present amongst leading businessmen, I was given just as much respect and gracious recognition after my speech. India's fathers and mothers showed their support for their daughter's/ my challenging goals. As I sat there listening to them, I felt myself soaking in their love and wisdom.

That night, I found out about cutting edge consultancies that provide expertise on family-managed businesses, educational institutions that provide vocational training to India's talented youth, and projects that have contributed to the manufacturing industry and transportation infrastructure in India. These initiatives rival many countries around the world!

Tips on learning while travelling -
  • When you travel, observe how people interact with other and listen carefully to what they discuss. I have learned about various topics through offhand conversations, including about the rise and fall of the stock market.
  • Be open to conversations; you never know where it will lead. I have heard and learned from people about migration, politics, family dynamics, and crime.

A caring India

As I travel, I continue to meet amazing people along the way who do not tire in spite of giving their heart and soul continuously to their communities.

My family has been similarly involved in services close to their heart, from providing educational services to children from a lower socioeconomic background, to supporting cancer patients in their rehabilitation efforts.

My family is supported by many other similarly talented, caring women who are trained as social workers, counsellors, and doctors; women whose families may have overcome struggles with their own health.

Some women I have met carry the torch entirely on their own as well. In Jodhpur, I met one of the most caring women I have ever met.

She has worked tirelessly to help babies who have been affected by various issues.

Inspired by her spirit, I am now working with her to seek medical guidance for a child who has water logged in his brain. Wish us luck!

A loving India

I cannot write about India without writing about the love I have received from my own family. Yes, it has been a bit overwhelming being fed constantly and when they constantly worry about my safety, but I cannot thank them enough for caring enough to worry about me!


In the depths of the night, as our elders sing old songs in each other's company, and as our peers share a caring moment together encouraging each other to pursue their dreams, this is an India that I treasure.

I have seen the love between friends as they laugh with each other while singing during pre-wedding celebrations, as they share a car when driving to and from places they frequent in the city, and as they tease each other about their significant others.

A beautiful India

This is the India that is familiar to those who travel here. So this may not be a surprise to many.

When I landed in Jodhpur in January, that night I fell in love with India. At night, in a palace hotel, I encountered one of the most beautiful moments of my life as the sun set on the lake by the hotel, and the dark silhouettes of monkeys raced by me on the terrace of the hotel.

Watching the lights play on the fort and palaces in the city was an indescribable feeling.

These are memories I should not and will not easily forget. And there are so many more stories to share about the people and organizations I have met so far.

I hope you continue to read my blog as I fawn over the love that I have experienced.



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Sunday, 10 January 2016

A journey to the centre of my soul

On the date of my year-long trip's first month anniversary, I felt an appropriate post would be one that recognizes where I have been so far, and what  I have learned along the way. This post is dedicated to everyone I have met so far - the dreamers, the advisors, and the companions close to my heart.

For the past month, I have traveled to three different continents, and admired three different landscapes. My emotions in each country have also been different - from one of awe, to one of emotional conflict, and ending with the best emotion of all -  one of comfort, family, and love.

You may have seen my three faces on Facebook group One Woman Empowered; now I would like to share three different stories with you.

The Beginning



Arriving in Punta Arenas on December 9, in the few hours before I left for Antarctica, I experienced the city in a way that I always imagined I would. When I left Toronto a day earlier, I wanted to live the aura of each city, see its good with its bad, and experience the city like its local residents.

I now believe that your experience depends upon the people you meet. In walking the streets from the hostel to the local grocery store on that first day, I received a glimpse that may be elusive in the "touristic" hub of any city. As we left the store with a few groceries, we weaved through many different streets until his house. The aura of this city was just like any university town in Canada, with small houses scattered across the town, and few people walking along the roads.

The house I reached had a gas heater that required a flame to start up; a couch and a table that were not the best but would do, in a small 10 X 10 feet dining room at the entrance; a separate similarly-sized kitchen towards the back of the 10 foot corridor; plus a few rickety stairs up to the second floor.

This would be my home when I returned from Antarctica.

Patagonia

In the two weeks that I spent back in Punta Arenas after I returned from Antarctica, I learned a few lessons that I will always keep with me.

Number 1 - It is necessary to manage expectations, or have a plan.



My first day in Punta Arenas, I was disappointed... no hook to hang any clothes in the washroom, no toilet paper, and no soap... The room's window had cobwebs and dust; the sheets had stains; and I felt like I had been transformed back into my university days because of the type of accommodation I was in... I felt spoilt after the luxurious trip to Antarctica, and guilty that I had high expectations.

(All my provisions)

Housemates to the rescue!

They had already cleaned the washroom and made me food by the time I was done leaving my bags in my room. With lots of laughter, conversations in Spanish, and caring gestures, the perceived shortcomings of the accommodation no longer mattered. Fresh home-made bread and many meals later, I think that was the highlight of my 12-day stay in Punta Arenas.


But, some days I would wait all day at home for my friend, the person who had arranged for me to live there. He would be busy with his job, and hour after hour the day would pass by; my time in Punta Arenas would slowly slip away without learning much about the city.

I learned a valuable lesson though. If you want to experience a city:
  • Plan - Make a plan the previous night about what you want to do the next day. 
    • Save the directions you find in Google Maps offline, before you leave home. 
    • And, take off around the city. It is very safe!
  • You do not need WiFi - If you are concerned that you are relying solely on WiFi, and your friends will not be able to find you in the city.  
    • Let them know that you are leaving your WiFi hotspot behind for greener pastures, that you will not be able to communicate much.
    • When you are ready, connect with them. 
  • City Attractions - Research the surrounding areas by talking to tourists. 
    • They are the best source of information, as they have pursued extensive research about nearby attractions. 
    • And, map out all your days; you can always change your plan. (The best way to meet like-minded tourists is in hostels).
Number 2 - There are many ways to find safe accommodation

Yes, safety was a concern but, with care, careful consideration, and personal wisdom, safety is not unachievable. Yay!!

Whether it is couchsurfing, booking.com or hostelworld, or a spontaneous request that a stranger help you find a place; whether you land in a city and walk around to different hostels to find the best rooms and prices; or whether it is a low-budget hotel room, you can always be safe.

In fact, you should always ask to see the room before you begin paying for it. And, once you start staying there and making friends, you will find wonderful people who will help you along the way - giving you rides through the city, teaching you Spanish, and cooking the specialities of the region.

Number 3 - Visiting Patagonia

My expectations may not have been met to the same standard that I was accustomed to after the trip to Antarctica - in Antarctica, I had soap, toilet paper, hooks to hang clothes outside the showers, yummy meals 24/7, and a fantastic vista and pre-arranged excursions. (I have recommendations for 2 amazing travel agents, in Ushuaia, Argentina!).

But, what I learned from my experience in Punta Arenas has provided me a glimpse into my own travel style, an approach to how I will tour cities in the future, and what I would like to see when I visit Patagonia next!

I also learned how to keep safe on particular hikes, how long it takes to complete hikes, and how to prepare for them. For example, for Torres Del Paine in Chile, and El Chaltaine and El Calafate in Argentina, you must account for weather changes. And, you must keep your plan flexible.
  • Choose your hiking trail. Based on your speed, guesstimate the time it will take you to complete it, and leave some room for miscalculations ;)
  • Try and determine whether you will be carrying your own tent, cook wear, and food; whether you will be renting it; or whether you will rent nothing and stay at pre-established lodges along the hiking trail (which lessens your hiking load). 
  • Leave aside time to rent gear, if that is how you choose to travel - tents, cook wear, and food. Remember, the gear may not be available in time for your trip.
  • You need to allot time to wait for weather that would be ideal for a hike - please avoid strong winds as the hiking trail may be rocky, and strong winds can make your experience unsafe!
  • Buses don't even run on certain days to certain destinations - such as Christmas, and New Year's, or maybe even on regional holidays. Surprise to me, for sure!
  • And, some hikes require one full day even after the weather stabilizes, but what if buses to the hiking destination are full?!
  • Oh, and finally, based on my research and only my own, I believe Torres Del Paine can take between 5 to 9 days, El Chaltaine can take 5 days, and El Calafate 1 full day.
  • Most importantly, wear proper winter hiking boots and warm winter clothes. And, carry a small backpack and what is most crucial - snacks and water.
Number 4 - "Miscellaneous" - You need a royal sense of humour to travel
  • Specifications on what you can carry via flights can change - small scissors until India, and the no scissors around India. So, be prepared to lose some items (I did; you may not :P).
  • There may not be WiFi at airports so your loved ones may not know where you are if there are flight delays. Tip - No WiFi (Punta Arenas), Limited 30-minute free WiFi (El Calafate).
  • You will face flight delays at least once - I told you about New York, but I have experienced delays on every flight I have taken so far
    • Stanley to Punta Arenas - 3 hours in line to a ticket agent in a small corridor, and 2 hours waiting for the plane to take off. (It was an infrequently-used military air base).
    • El Calafate to India - With India on high alert due to an unfortunate incident, my flight was delayed, so I slept in the Delhi airport on a lounge-style couch; my bags in my arms!
  • Your shipment that has all your winter and summer gear may never arrive. Where did it go? No idea - I will keep you updated. Ah customs!
  • Being from a particular country may not help you receive the love you thought you would from the flight agents; you may receive more love being a tourist to another country.
  • Emotional intelligence is a foreign concept to some. I was moved out of my room because two beautiful French women wanted to stay there; I moved into someone else's room and he moved into an empty room; and then I slept 5 days on a couch in a hospital because it was simplest. I got to spend time with my friend who was admitted there, and was able to enjoy her company.
One thing is for sure, you learn a lot!
  • Punta Arenas is a medium-sized city of 120K people. There is a beautiful cemetery not too far from its downtown core, filled with trees, and with graves decorated by flowers from family.
  • The cemetery has a statue of an Aboriginal tribal member who was killed by a colonist. His tribe was not known, and so people started worshipping him. As their wishes came true, a challenge was placed by a particularly rich woman; if her wishes also came true, she would erect a statue in his honour. Guess what?!.... There is a statue!

  • There are two main newspaper printing presses in Punta Arenas, and one publishes two papers. That printing press that published two papers, does so because one of the papers has been a part of the city for ages, and so it is now published every weekend.
  • Brothels sometimes take the form of strip bars, as strip bars are legal. But the local police is unable to prove that it is a brothel, so it continues to run under false guises.
  • Oh, and you meet the most amazing people in hospitals - including consular representatives! I heard there was also a Nepalese Sherpa who broke his leg while climbing in Antarctica!!
  • P.S. El Calafate is in Argentina, and has the loveliest people you can find. Although it is a touristic town with pricey goods, you find lovely fauna and it is surrounded by mountains and lakes. It does get chilly though, even for a Canadian :)

What I learned most is that technology is untrustworthy, and you never stop learning how to edit videos and post them on your blog while the WiFi is sporadic, and the chargers do not work.

I cannot wait to share my next post with you - a post of true love, of home, of family, and of comfort in a place that is known worldwide in a way that is different from my own experience....



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And, do keep reading and supporting me as I continue to learn and find love and purpose around the world!








Thursday, 31 December 2015

Life and everything beautiful

We interrupt this message to bring you breaking news. 

On December 24, I received a message from a dear friend with whom I spent 12 days on the ship to Antarctica. She was in the hospital, and I am glad I was still in Punta Arenas to be with her as she recovered until January 1, 2016.

These are the moments that help you realize how precious life is and the people in it. And I am thankful for both.

I dedicate this post to my friend and her strength and resilience as she experienced a difficult moment in her life, in a foreign country, alone in a hospital, with a fractured vertebrae, contusions, and other injuries. She was trekking the W trail on the Torres del Paine, when a strong gust of wind blew her off course and resulted in her injuries. I think I was more scared than her watching her as she lay in her hospital bed. But she looked as sexy as ever ;)

She has now had her surgery and will be recovering over the next month while in Chile. I know I will miss her company, but I hope she does not miss mine as she still has a month to go.

Her tips for you:
  • She would not have done anything differently, as she could not have prevented her fall
  • A good headband is important (a joke as her head was bandaged)
  • Travel insurance is absolutely mandatory! You never know the situation you may be in.
  • And, most importantly, don't have an accident on Christmas Day; the insurance company is on holidays
What I learned:
  • Give people space to recover from the shock of the accident
  • Everyone needs privacy where certain bodily functions are concerned; leave the room
  • You must overcome your own fear of not knowing the language in order to be there for others
  • It takes a whole community to communicate with an insurance company about claim requests, including numerous medical reports and cost estimates
  • Lazyboy couches are quite comfortable for sleeping
  • It is helpful to know someone who lives in the city, to help with routine chores like laundry
What we both learned:
  • You need to be careful how much you share and with whom, or you may end up in the news
  • Chocolate is a must, with some dried mango slices please!
  • Shower and food are welcome luxuries when you are in bed, or taking care of someone in bed
  • It is necessary to get fresh air and exercise everyday
  • Humour overcomes all.... (And you may not always have WiFi or a phone to communicate with loved ones back home)
  • Never underestimate the value of friends far and wide, around the world, even when you are facing a problem in one small city in a country that is miles away
On that note, I want to wish my wonderful friends and family, new acquaintances and old companions a happy new year filled with love, company, and lots of good humour.